Are We Now, Or Have We Ever Been

by Goodtime Boys

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released May 30, 2011

Recorded and Produced by Lewis Johns at The Ranch Production House, Southampton in February 2011.


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Track Name: Daylight
I’m terrified because the line’s been set between sheer hopelessness and mere regret. I’m scared to death as this horizon’s setting on emptiness or simply just forgetting, inside my mind I see the eyes of loss that show my future is all used up. I am standing here at the gates as they are closing with a flash of light, I gasp in awe. Burning, burning so brightly clutching at straws, climbing the highest mountain to claw the face I forgot. These arms unfold and cross my palms with fear “Was I ever, ever really welcome here?” these eyes unfold and cross my palms with reason, I am held still and condemned a heathen that cannot move and cannot think, that tries to speak seeing the missing link, searches for the words till they fade away then takes this breath but has nothing to say. I, I find solace in this night, inside my mind, another weigh less sigh, behind these eyes I am left behind searching for promise in a hell, and as I die these arms unfold, palms will uncross, futures will be told. Never the scapegoat nor the crutch because as I die I just wake up.
Track Name: Harrow
If I lived alone living in “sin”, I wouldn’t know where to begin. Scratching at the walls, tearing through the dirt nails buried deep in the ground. I lift up my body and failing to stand I fall with a smile as the struggle ends. Content in my defeat, swallowed whole. I am a statement, that digests over time, no luxury for me, sense hold, I grip my skull to clear your name from my mind, the last convulsion as I let go, with open eyes I realize, everyone forgets sometimes, everyone forgets themselves, everybody battles with time, as we lose we cry “at least I tried”. Nothing is worth it unless it swallows you whole. Nothing is worth it unless it consumes you whole, I hope it’s worth it. Deep inside our fickle skulls we leave footsteps and bury answers in the walls. Choking young lungs (tight in it’s grip) The discovery saves us from ourselves. Save us from ourselves.
Track Name: Bliss
I got really tired of hiding everything we’re hiding when we really should be fighting for everything we had, because everything we’re hiding, away from all this fighting might be all we have. I don’t seem to have the same stomach as you, living life in all that you do, trying to keep up just dragging feet on the line. This deceit pulls me further, further behind. When all the things that we really shouldn’t do are all the things that we really wanted to. Staring into these eyes, I wish it was you I wish it was you I wish it was fine losing inches of precious sleep, trapped here watching you breathe. Blistering every knuckle, screaming from every pore “I want more”. Four years two minds one heart each day lungs further apart. Eyes prized so wide open stretching out the skin as this groping city is caving in, I must be starving to quench these thirsts so terrified now, now nothing hurts. Nothing hurts nothing so nothing ever hurts.
Track Name: Sleep
A complex product of the age, eyes loses focus with bowels weak. I cannot stomach all of these lies, each and every cliché I speak. I am left weightless, lacking a mooring. No anchor forged to condemn, me to the ground. I am left weightless, lacking a mooring. Nothing can hold me down, into the ground. Swollen. I’m swollen. Swollen with ego, Swollen with time, with mother’s blurry words and the slogans that litter my mind. And as I stare, through painted faces into your bleached out cheeks, forget your name, forget a face. Boundaries pale to memory as we embrace. Try to remember nothing has changed, Here in these arms, this is my home. Here in these arms, all that I have. Here in these arms, I sleep.