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I’m terrified because the line’s been set between sheer hopelessness and mere regret. I’m scared to death as this horizon’s setting on emptiness or simply just forgetting, inside my mind I see the eyes of loss that show my future is all used up. I am standing here at the gates as they are closing with a flash of light, I gasp in awe. Burning, burning so brightly clutching at straws, climbing the highest mountain to claw the face I forgot. These arms unfold and cross my palms with fear “Was I ever, ever really welcome here?” these eyes unfold and cross my palms with reason, I am held still and condemned a heathen that cannot move and cannot think, that tries to speak seeing the missing link, searches for the words till they fade away then takes this breath but has nothing to say. I, I find solace in this night, inside my mind, another weigh less sigh, behind these eyes I am left behind searching for promise in a hell, and as I die these arms unfold, palms will uncross, futures will be told. Never the scapegoat nor the crutch because as I die I just wake up.


from Are We Now, Or Have We Ever Been, released May 30, 2011


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